Saturday: 4 July 2009
When our forefathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, they were unable to foresee a lot of forces other than that the phoneme for would appear a lot of times. That’s ok - I wouldn’t have believed a lot of them either.
Of local interest:
There were fire calls to stations to our north for a grass fire at Grand Willie Drive. I located it immediately on our nifty 911 map book, and waited to see if we were called. We weren’t, but I did enjoy listening to Central trying to give directions to the stations who were called, because after all they are men and wouldn’t dream of looking at a map: “Turn right, and then right.” *NO*, I thought, turn right and then *left*. A few minutes later, “turn right, and then left.” 10-4.
But back to Grand Willie Drive. Think of it, having to actually say that,again and again and again, Grand Willie Drive, when you purchase something by credit card, apply for a loan, open up a bank account, get booked at the local police station, and go to vote. Grand Willie Drive. Think of it, a 30-year loan for a property on Grand Willie Drive. I am made of lesser stuff - even if the economy were good I’d have undoubtedly defaulted within a year or two, helplessly demoralized, at an address situated on a street called Grand Willie Drive.
I emailed our chief that I was trying to get my head around Grand Willie Drive, and he missed the point: a little slow, perhaps, he replied with directions to Grand Willie Drive. At least they were the right directions.
(Just to accentuate the comedy, there was a second, and then a *third* call for flareups at Grand Willie Drive, during the afternoon and evening.)
But back to the future: I replied, “All I’m thinking about for tonight and tomorrow is two weeks without rain, 90-100 degF temperatures and dry breezy days, and one of my students saying to the other ”Dude, guess what, my dad just bought $200 of fireworks." “Alright, Dude!!” (Fist bump. No surprise - these little white boys like rap, too.)
Oh dudes, thought the assistant fire chief, you are SO busted. I so do want to hear that you’ll be going home to south Georgia this weekend. And be sure to thank your dad dude for that, from me.
Also.
Alaska’s governor, and failed vp candidate, the slow trainwreck named Sarah Palin will secede from the Union effective July 26. NPR, bless their hearts, hardly knew what to say, other than that her Lieutenant Governor had a deer-in-the-headlights look about him, and who can blame him? What everyone *does* seem to agree on is that someone should have taken away that second six pack of Super Jolt before she gave a majorly surreal stream of unconciousness speech.
I can see it now. January 21, 2013:
“Sarah Palin resigned from the Presidency, one day after she took office, citing that she couldn’t see putting all that work into it when she might not get reelected in 2016. Vice President David Duke will take the oath of office at 12:01pm.”
Hint: with a bombshell like this at 4pm on Friday of a major holiday, keep your eyes on Alaska for the next week. Something scandalously interesting is almost guaranteed to happen, my friends, unless it doesn’t. Also.
Finally:
In a demonstration of the proper way to make a career move, memorial services for Michael Jackson will take place in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday, and our long national nightmare will come to an end. 17,500 tickets have been allocated, to be selected by lottery on a special website. Within 90 minutes of the website’s appearance, the lottery had seen 500 million hits.
('Scuse me - did I hear that right? I guess I did - Glenn and I both looked at each other with dropped jaws.)
LA Police don’t have the money to provide police services. Solution: City councilwoman Jan Perry said: “I want to stress to those people who are coming, or are thinking about coming, to the city for this special event, that you might want to consider watching this from the comfort of your home.”
There’s so much more - the White House garden soil with lead levels ten times permissible and the vegetables rendered essentially toxic (not even good enough to feed to the poor) - ironies abound every day, and who knows what will happen on the 4th!
UPDATE: This White House garden story seems to have some additional legs to it, grown in the last day or so. Apparently the 93 ppm lead levels are not all that unusual, and only when you get to 300-500 ppm soil levels is there some concern. Even that take is only from what I’ve sampled this morning, and perhaps we’ll have a better idea in the next few days. For the time being it seems that the ire is directed from a combination of rightwingers and organic enthusiasts, a very odd combination.
In the meantime, it gives even more credibility to the insanity:
Anyway, in this insane nation of ours, Happy Independence Day! Wish you were here!
 | I used to say that if America couldn’t do anything else, she could at least make good movies. Over the last few years I’ve backtracked on this, but now I think that she at least supplies dark tasteless comedy on both a local and a global scale. And so in honor of that, just a few of the things that happened on Friday July 3. |
Of local interest:
There were fire calls to stations to our north for a grass fire at Grand Willie Drive. I located it immediately on our nifty 911 map book, and waited to see if we were called. We weren’t, but I did enjoy listening to Central trying to give directions to the stations who were called, because after all they are men and wouldn’t dream of looking at a map: “Turn right, and then right.” *NO*, I thought, turn right and then *left*. A few minutes later, “turn right, and then left.” 10-4.
But back to Grand Willie Drive. Think of it, having to actually say that,again and again and again, Grand Willie Drive, when you purchase something by credit card, apply for a loan, open up a bank account, get booked at the local police station, and go to vote. Grand Willie Drive. Think of it, a 30-year loan for a property on Grand Willie Drive. I am made of lesser stuff - even if the economy were good I’d have undoubtedly defaulted within a year or two, helplessly demoralized, at an address situated on a street called Grand Willie Drive.
I emailed our chief that I was trying to get my head around Grand Willie Drive, and he missed the point: a little slow, perhaps, he replied with directions to Grand Willie Drive. At least they were the right directions.
(Just to accentuate the comedy, there was a second, and then a *third* call for flareups at Grand Willie Drive, during the afternoon and evening.)
| Later, in a community-minded spirit, our chief forwarded a little piece about how local fire departments were taking charge of fireworks in various communities, and my mind drifted back to three years ago at Firefighter Weekend in Forsyth. The “graduating class” had charge of the fireworks on Saturday night, and that windy night the rockets' red glare rained down on hundreds of cars in the parking lot. |  |
But back to the future: I replied, “All I’m thinking about for tonight and tomorrow is two weeks without rain, 90-100 degF temperatures and dry breezy days, and one of my students saying to the other ”Dude, guess what, my dad just bought $200 of fireworks." “Alright, Dude!!” (Fist bump. No surprise - these little white boys like rap, too.)
Oh dudes, thought the assistant fire chief, you are SO busted. I so do want to hear that you’ll be going home to south Georgia this weekend. And be sure to thank your dad dude for that, from me.
Also.
Alaska’s governor, and failed vp candidate, the slow trainwreck named Sarah Palin will secede from the Union effective July 26. NPR, bless their hearts, hardly knew what to say, other than that her Lieutenant Governor had a deer-in-the-headlights look about him, and who can blame him? What everyone *does* seem to agree on is that someone should have taken away that second six pack of Super Jolt before she gave a majorly surreal stream of unconciousness speech.
 | But her explanation opened doors for me, and I hope it did for everyone, for I believe in free speech, however bewildering. It really helped her credibility that she hates the idea of being a lame duck for a year and a half, a situation she herself created by declaring that she wouldn’t run for a second term. Solution? Quit! |
I can see it now. January 21, 2013:
“Sarah Palin resigned from the Presidency, one day after she took office, citing that she couldn’t see putting all that work into it when she might not get reelected in 2016. Vice President David Duke will take the oath of office at 12:01pm.”
Hint: with a bombshell like this at 4pm on Friday of a major holiday, keep your eyes on Alaska for the next week. Something scandalously interesting is almost guaranteed to happen, my friends, unless it doesn’t. Also.
Finally:
In a demonstration of the proper way to make a career move, memorial services for Michael Jackson will take place in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday, and our long national nightmare will come to an end. 17,500 tickets have been allocated, to be selected by lottery on a special website. Within 90 minutes of the website’s appearance, the lottery had seen 500 million hits.
('Scuse me - did I hear that right? I guess I did - Glenn and I both looked at each other with dropped jaws.)
LA Police don’t have the money to provide police services. Solution: City councilwoman Jan Perry said: “I want to stress to those people who are coming, or are thinking about coming, to the city for this special event, that you might want to consider watching this from the comfort of your home.”
| Aww, man. I was so thinking about flying out to LA, but I guess now I won’t. “Los Angeles Assistant Police Chief Earl Paysinger said the area near the Staples Center will be closed to all those without a ticket or media credentials.” Remember the Watts Riots? Remember the Ayatollah Khomeini’s funeral in 1989, when his body was tipped out of the coffin by the anguished mob of millions? Remember that MJ fans *crave* souvenirs? I don’t have to tell you, you tell me. 1+1=2. CNN will provide all-day coverage, but did I really have to tell you that? |  |
There’s so much more - the White House garden soil with lead levels ten times permissible and the vegetables rendered essentially toxic (not even good enough to feed to the poor) - ironies abound every day, and who knows what will happen on the 4th!
UPDATE: This White House garden story seems to have some additional legs to it, grown in the last day or so. Apparently the 93 ppm lead levels are not all that unusual, and only when you get to 300-500 ppm soil levels is there some concern. Even that take is only from what I’ve sampled this morning, and perhaps we’ll have a better idea in the next few days. For the time being it seems that the ire is directed from a combination of rightwingers and organic enthusiasts, a very odd combination.
In the meantime, it gives even more credibility to the insanity:
Anyway, in this insane nation of ours, Happy Independence Day! Wish you were here!
